*Bittersweet*

We went to Tom and Angie's house for dinner tonight. We had such a great time and the food was AMAZING! (Thanks again guys) Chris stayed up there and the boys were going to a late movie so I brought my kiddies home for bed. On the drive home we always pass the Mount Timpanogas Temple, it is always lit up and so beautiful and Hunter ALWAYS get so excited to see it. I also always tell him that that's were Mommy and Daddy got married. Then we ALWAYS have the following conversation....Hunter: "Can I go in there Mommy?"

Mommy: "When you are older, like Mommy and Daddy?"

And then it goes on from there on what he needs to do to be able to go to the temple. Then he says "Mommy, I just wish I could get married when I turn 5!" He sounded so defeated:) Then he said "Will I get to see Grandpa Jeff in there?" I said no, Grandpa is in Heaven but we will see him again someday. I call Chris to tell him what Hunter had said about getting married at 5, we laughed and I hung up. Then Hunter started saying that he really wanted to see Grandpa NOW and then BURST into tears...sobbing "I just miss my Grandpa... I just want to see him.... I just want to go to Heaven right now and see him!" Over and over... SOBBING. Well at this point I was having a hard time trying not to fall apart so I called Chris and Chris talked to him and tried to calm him down saying that we would see him again but it won't be for a long long time. It took Hunter awhile to calm down but eventually he did. Chris told Hunter to ask his Mommy and Grandma to tell him stories and show him pictures of Grandpa. He got off the phone and I said "Are you feeling better" He said "Mom I still feel sad" I said "It's OK to be sad" I lost it at this point. It is OK to miss my Dad. He was an AMAZING human being and I feel so blessed to have him in my life for as long as I did. I am so grateful that Chris knew my Dad and had a great love and friendship with him. Hunter never knew my Dad...he passed away exactly 4 weeks before he was born but I can't help but think that Sweet little Hunter remembers Grandpa from Heaven and misses him. We talked about Grandpa the whole way home and cried and laughed together. Not quite how I thought I would end my evening tonight but I'm grateful I did.

Definitely Bittersweet.